New Zealand-based transgender writer of young adult fiction

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f2m: the boy within – first novel out Feb 2010

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My first novel, called f2m: the boy within, will be published in February 2010, published by Ford Street publishing.

I co-wrote it with Australian author Hazel Edwards, recently nominated for the Astrid Lindgren award.

Synopsis

What happens when who you are on the inside clashes with what you are on the outside?

All adolescents face the quest for identity, but gender change complicates ‘coming of age’.

School-leaver Skye plays guitar in her all-girl band, The Chronic Cramps. Making her name in the punk music scene is easier than FTM (female to male) transitioning: from Skye to Finn, from girl to man. At the school reunion, Finn faces victimisation, but challenges the bullies.

Uncovering genetic mysteries about family heritage tears the family apart. Gran’s loved sibling Al was also Alberta. Transgender identity is more than hormones and surgery, it’s about acceptance. Going public, Finn sings FTM lyrics on TV.

With a little help from bemused mates and parents who don’t want to lose a daughter, but who love their teenager, Finn is transitioning.

Posted in Transgender, Writing.

Tagged with f2m, fiction, Ford Street, ftm, Hazel Edwards, novel, Transgender, young adult.

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By Ryan – October 10, 2009

Transgender identity is different for everyone

Tree growth rings showing a year for each ring I am often asked questions like “When did you become male?” or “When did you know?”

The first is easy to answer: in 2003-4 when I went through the transition process. This included testosterone treatment and eventually chest surgery, although I couldn’t afford surgery until 2006.

The second is a difficult question to answer. I knew at 27 when I started the process, but in a way I’d always known.

It’s not like part of me is transgender and the rest isn’t. Being trans is also a part of everything I do, but sometimes not relevant, or I’m not conscious of it.

Think of the rings on a tree. Each ring is a year of growth. Sometimes you can point to a ring and say ‘that’s when a cold snap hit and the tree didn’t grow much from then on.’ I wasn’t male from 2004 onwards; I was always male, but it only became obvious from 2004 onwards.

It’s different for everyone though. Some people’s gender identity is more fluid. There would be evidence of cold snaps in each of their tree rings, sometimes large parts of the year, sometimes none. Sometimes they are one gender, sometimes another, sometimes not thinking about it and getting on with other parts of life.

Posted in Transgender.

Tagged with hormones, surgery, testosterone.

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By Ryan – May 30, 2009

David Byrne in Wellington

David Byrne concert - not Wellington but similar (photo by furnstein)

David Byrne is so weird! Still weird. He gives a small amount of himself; a slice in every song, and every song is a slice of him. But there seems so much more, a vast storehouse of David to be drawn out for years to come.

Wearing white, they were a canvas that the lights and sound painted and pasted on throughout the performance. Three then six dancers and singers drew us around the stage with the music in fluid motions. They only added, never subtracted or distracted. He played, they played, he played for two hours and we still wanted more. His smile of appreciation was genuine and we loved him for every minute of it.

I never realised I loved Talking Heads so much; it just grew. I saw the posters and had to see one of my heroes. His movements and words all have purpose – nothing is wasted or for show, yet it’s all for show – entertainment with meaning, without preaching, complaints or anger. Beautiful observations of human life set to vibrant pumping music.

Posted in Music.

Tagged with concert, David Byrne, Wellington.

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By Ryan – February 15, 2009

My Kaha Queer Youth Hui ‘09!

Kaha Queer Youth Hui 2009

This amazing conference was at Tapu Te Ranga Marae in Island Bay.

We were welcomed onto the marae in the traditional way, with a powhiri, waiata and hongi. Bruce Stewart introduced the place and its fairly unique history. Check out the website for his story, it’s fascinating. I haven’t felt such a spiritual connection to a place since living in Hanson St at the activist house. This was much stronger because of its history. It seems when people dedicate their lives to others their home builds up its own spirit that I can feel around me.

Youth work training – Some great ideas for getting people to come to grips with a potentially boring document: the Code of Ethics for Youth Work in Aotearoa New Zealand. We played memory games, talked about issues, did things with cards and rearranged sections. I’m making a submission, my other hobby.

Workshops – I’ve never done so many workshops in a row. Pretty sure this was the draining part of the weekend. I learned a lot from other people’s experiences and opinions. Sometimes I feel like Brooklynne and I are the only queer people we know – so valuable to get new outlooks, especially trans ones.

Concert – One minute I was asking the lady who taught us the waiata for its chords and the next I was second guitarist in Tiwhanawhana, accompanying about 30 singers and dancers. I joined their group!

Friends – Yay for new friends! I never got to go to things like this as an actual yoof of teen age so it was great to go and make lotsa new friends while I’m still vaguely young.

We voted at the end – to coincide with the Asia Pacific OutGames, Kaha Hui 2011 is going international!